Ah yes. Bottom wiping; the joys, the fancies, the silliness of it. And how many ways in which we do it! We can use loo roll or bidets, our left hand, or flushable (and very often non-flushable) ‘moistening’ wipes. And our babies! Obviously in the west we use baby wipes with little variation unless you are a bit alternative. Which is a gosh darned shame for our lovely oceans! I have spoken of this before and will again 🙂
So, firstly, the toilet roll. A peculiar western fancy that is really gross when you’ve travelled around a bit. It was incredibly strange using water in South East Asia and then again in India but when you think about it we do like to use water to get clean. We don’t smear paper around our faces to get clean, we like wet stuff. But with poo it’s ok just to smear paper around and look down on people who use water. It really is backwards. A fine example of common knowledge being mistaken for wisdom. And this is not to say that I use water, I do not, that would be gross! Ah, sweet Orwellian doublethink – when one holds two contradictory thoughts at the same time, knowing one is more correct while doing the other… This is how marketeers corner us as a herd and prevent us thinking too much about what we are up to. We can buy toilet roll that is marketed as environmentally friendly while it is wrapped in plastic… we can buy food that is organic but not free range, we can buy diamonds knowing they fuel conflict in Sierra Leone while having a monthly direct debit donation to Oxfam This is how we function as humans – to know and be in complete unison would be absolutely impossible in a busy world, this is why monks and nuns seek isolation: to concentrate and focus and limit the doublethink.
So we use paper in the west, fact. But how can we buy this paper without the plastic wrapping?! At the moment I am being marketed at by a lovely looking company called www.whogivesacrap.org. A fantastic write up of this company’s product is here by myplasticfreelife (dated September 2017, so very up to date, and thorough – checkit! :)) Here she says that she generally used a product called ‘Seventh Generation’ loo roll that came without plastic although sometimes used plastic to post it – but having had a squizz myself this is only available in America anyways. She moved to using whogivesacrap though, as they definitely did not use any plastic. We can use them too! The rolls are 3x more expensive compared to recycled normal rolls at Sainsburys though, so for me they are not an option at the moment. An interesting point of their business is that they give 50% of their profits to water and sanitation charities that help in the ‘developing world’. I am not sure about how helpful this aspect is in reality, but for now I’ll leave that decision up to you.
The point now is to contact Sainsbury’s and ask them to stock their toilet paper in cardboard cartons and paper wrapping.
And on to wipes. Oh, sweet wipes. Wipes are so convenient! Wrapped in a waterproof plastic container to keep them fresh; portable; easy to grab one-handed; hundreds in one small packet; and wonderfully multi-purpose. Snotty noses, chocolatey chops, grazed mitts, and, of course, mucky bums. And now, the increasingly ubiquitous household wipe. Cleans your floor! Your kitchen surfaces – better than a reusable cloth because using a cloth is the equivalent of rubbing raw chicken on your baby’s high chair (really, you know the advert)! Your toilet and bathrooms! BUT THEY ARE COMPLETELY ANTI-SOCIAL! ANTI, ANTI, ANTI! ANTI! Anti-actual life, anti water, anti-waste pipes, anti-toilet, anti-landfill, anti-nature.
They get stuck in water pipes from toilet to sea. They are eaten by birds. They do NOT degrade, whatever the packaging tries to say. They contain drying chemicals for bottoms, even sensitive ones. And this is another example of doublethink: we are buying chemically composed wipes for our babies that work really hard to boast that they are as cleansing as WATER. As pure for your baby as WATER. As sensitive to your baby’s skin as… WATER. If only we could actually use this halcyon product, ‘water’! Instead we: a) buy wipes; b) use wipes that even the manufacturers say are NOT as good for your child as this thing ‘water’; c) throw wipes down the toilet because we are told on the packaging that they are ‘flushable’, ‘disposable’, and ‘degradable’.
So instead of uncritically absorbing marketing claims as ‘truth’ let us unpack what they are really saying a little bit. Engage brain, AND:
‘Flushable’ does not mean biodegradable.
‘Flushable’ does not mean ‘won’t be eaten by wildlife’.
‘Flushable’ does not mean ‘won’t clog wastepipes that lead into the sea, backing sewage up into rivers’.
and
‘Disposable’ is a joyfully cheeky term used by Wipe-Makers that is actually a myth. These wipes are the very opposite of disposable! I mean, anything is disposable – arsenic, battery acid and asbestos are disposable. Does this mean they should be disposed of, all casual like, in our domestic waste?! Does it mean that when they can no longer be seen by us, from our houses, that they are benign or, ta-da, ‘disappeared’? No, of course not. And the same goes for these convenience wipes. They are not actually disposable because when they are in the bin they are then taken away and… they stay as wipes. In wipe form. For donkeys years. In the sea or rivers, in hedges, on verges, in animals (I know it’s emotive, but it is true I’m afraid :() They are not made benign. They are not disappeared. Bamboo wipes, however, are actually disposable. Cotton cloths are disposable: they are benign and will disappear. So why don’t we use and throw these away several times a day instead?! Because we have made them to be valuable. They are re-usable, they are for a purpose, and so we hold onto them and care about them.
‘Disposable’ does not mean we can throw them away. It means we don’t need to care about them. They have no value to us. Their use, their memory, their imprint, is what is disposable, rather than the physical wipe. I think we can value what happens to our ‘disposable’ wipes by critically questioning why they are termed ‘disposable’ and, ultimately, reject this term as a marketing myth.
‘Anti-bacterial’ in reference to household cleaning wipes does not mean more sanitary than a cloth and spray. Using a convenience wipe with anti-flu, anti-norovirus and anti-bac properties is not actually better than using a reusable cotton cloth. Just like anti-bac hand-wash is only anti-bacterial in the way it is soap that is rubbed over your hands, wipes are anti-bacterial, anti-noro and anti-flu germs in the use of an antiseptic cleaning agent and the action of rubbing or cleaning. So there are no special properties inherent to a wipe that cannot also be found in an ecologically sound cleaning spray like Method or even kitchen ingredients (more of which later!), and the action of cleaning. A TV advert disputes this fact by likening the efficacy of a kitchen cloth to that of wiping raw chicken around your child and kitchen. This is categorically untrue at worst and misleading at best. This plays on our idea of ‘disposable’ as if we throw germs away. As if using a cloth is smearing, not cleaning, and reusing is fundamentally unhygienic. Which it is, if you never wash it. Which you can do in your washing machine, even after one use. (Like you do your clothes?! Is the re-using of clothes, unless you are P-Diddy who apparently wears a new pair of socks every day but is also considered a bit, er, silly, also unsanitary?)
Actually, it could be argued that a scrubby cloth rubs off stuck on stains BETTER and more EASILY than a slippery wipe. It could be argued that a scrubby cloth can look really rather lovely in a kitchen or bathroom, compared to an ugly plastic pack of wipes. It can be argued that cloths are cheaper because they are longer lasting than wipes you throw away. And it can be argued that a cloth used with a naturally made cleaning product is better for your child because it is chemical and bleach free. Wipe Makers say cloths are gross because they, apparently, harbour germs. But aren’t wipes unpleasant because they contain bleaches and chlorine that you would never let your child near normally. But on a highchair it is ok?
And, finally, hold onto your hats,
‘Degradable’ does not mean bio-degradable. It means that at some point in the future, maybe even a few hundred years away, they will degrade. Biodegradable means it will easily return to the earth, be consumed by nature in a harmless, eco-sustainable fashion. We are biodegradable. Plastics can be called ‘degradable’ – but this isn’t in a good way as we know. It is marketing gumph, really to make you feel that the wipes you are using are natural, easily gotten rid off, leaving no trace.
This is incredibly misleading.
And so, what to do?! Well, re: baby wipes, I have written about this before.
I use an old takeaway tub or ice cream box.
I fill it half full with WATER (!!), add a tablespoon of olive oil and two drops of either lavender or tea tree essential oil.
Olive oil is a moisturiser for your baby’s bott and also helps wipe gooey poo off (especially the nightmare that is meconium!! It is FAB for that :))
Lavender or tea tree essential oils are antiseptic (science fact, not hippy nonsense) and leave a lovely fresh, utterly harmless fragrance.
I then put about 10 or so washable, cotton cloths in the tub to get all moist and ready to use. You can get funky cloths from Amazon, or from cheekywipes: Cheekywipes have 25 bamboo cloths for £13.50 and free delivery, which works out at about 54p a wipe. ‘Disposable’ wipes are around £15 for 18 packs if you bulk buy, though you can frequently buy wipes for £1 a pack, making them about 1p a wipe. Average 3 changes a day, 3 wipes a change = 9p on wipes every day. So after a week you could have saved the world 60-70 disposable wipes and exchanged them for your first reusable cloth.
After a month you could have saved 270 wipes and exchanged them for the price of 5 reusables.
Upscale this to 6 months and you would have thrown away 1620 wipes. 1620! Jeez Louise, I can’t believe that. And the cost of this would be the equivalent of your 25 reusable bamboo (actually biodegradable!) wipes and your essential oil. And then you’re sitting pretty for the rest of your wipe-using life, which if you have more than one child can last for around 5/6 years. So your lovely reusables, the (woohoo!) ‘WATER’, oil and essential oil will save you around…. *drum roll please*:
£178 – £250 per child
Which is LOADS on something you don’t need. Imagine the reverse-marketing. Pampers are saying to you, ‘WOW! We have a product here that is not at all biodegradable, cannot be flushed down the toilet or reused, is nothing like water and might irritate your baby’s skin 🙂 A bargain at only £200 per child!’ 🙂 🙂 🙂
So… Imagine you have to pay this outlay before you even have your baby. £200!
And then imagine you have to dispose of them in your own garden!
Imagine 18000 wipes ‘degrading’ in your garden! Per child! Summer would SUCK.
Alternatively, see your neighbour who relies on reusable, bamboo wipes… And washes them in the washing machine and so has nothing in their garden but grass. And they paid around £30 for their lifestyle instead of £200. Jealous, much?!
So, with that hugely emotive rhetoric I leave you, dear friends! And I implore you from the bottom of my heart to leave the wipes on the shelf and make yourself a tub of actually water-based, reusable, BIO-degradable, earth friendly, bamboo wipes for your baby. And tell your friends. And show off the funky designs on them. And then, when your babies are grown you can use them to clean your bathroom. And then, when they are old and need retiring they will go back to nature, naturally.
I know it hurts to hear that wipes are, er, crap. Big hugs. And actually, it is ok to use wipes if you need to. I do, because, like you, I am human. I use my bamboo as much as I can but sometimes I fail, or need a pack of wipes in my bag when I am out or need a quick clean of my bathroom because I don’t have my cloths quickly enough to hand.
I get it. I just want to share information, for knowledge is power 🙂
xx